I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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