I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
