I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
