there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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