Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
i now understand why vodka
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
