She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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