Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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