and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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