what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
