so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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