he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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