Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
