If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
