were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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