I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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