Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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