he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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