i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
