i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
