I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
