I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
