You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
