come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
