Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize