So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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