I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
