Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
