Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
