My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
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