So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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