I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
