he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
