so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
