I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize