Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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