he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
