Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
