i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
