Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
there is glitter all over my balls
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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