like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize