last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
