Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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