**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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