I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
