Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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