Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
