i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
