High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
