i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
