i wish semen tasted like chocolate
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
