He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize