That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
