He asked to "fluff my boner.."
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
