im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
