Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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