Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
