You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
