oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
