I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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