did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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