Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
you never un-have a 4some
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
