i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I think your dad took our porno
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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