I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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